--The smallest and hardest to find ship will always be in the last place you look
--If, when right after getting a hit, you are forced to choose between multiple directions to continue hitting in hopes that the ship is oriented that way: if you choose correctly, another ships' peg will be the other peg in the direction you didnt choose, and you won't choose to hit this peg again until it is far too late. If you choose wrongly, you will get a miss no matter what, and still have just as hard a time guessing where the rest of the ships are.
I Hate It When:
I see three new voicemails and wonder why the heck my mother is angry with me again, until i realize 2 of them are her angry rants from a couple of days ago and the last is a very sweet message left today that tells me that my shoes arrived in the mail -__-
I realize I forgot my bike lock right before I got to the bike rack. That anxious feeling fills me as I left my precious all alone and unprotected behind an inconspicuous dumpster, and, and hour and a half later, I see that miraculously and thankfully my bike is still there, gleaming in the sun--hold on. Those son of a b*tches stole my front reflector -__-
My job consists of 1.counting people by aid of a clicker as they walk by to the pool 2.reading Robert Jordan books 3. playing Sims 3 on an ipod or Advanced Wars on a GBA emulator 4. playing Battleship with myself 5.freakin Sudoku
I stand up but my hip still wants revenge from being banged against a vending machine several times today.People stare at my sudden expression of pain as if my arm just fell off. Young children stare at you
The only thing I want at this moment is mcdonalds
The highschool-aged lifeguards think Harry Potter's too mainstream and childish for them. Bloody hipsters. "JELLYLEGS JINX!"
I look at the clock and totally believe it's 20 to 5pm and my stomach rumbles in anticipation of a work break but I look again and sh*t it's only 20 to 4 -__-
I look up peacefully from this post-it and HOLY CR*P someone's right there showing me IDs to get me to let them into the pool. that IS my job, isnt it? whoops. these post its are just so fun to write in. I havent had tuna in way too long a time...wow the thought just passed thru my head that i should tell these people walking in taht the pool closes in 15 minutes. But well, sh*t, they'll find out sooner or later, whatever....weeellll, good thing i didnt, because it closes in an hour and 15 minutes. stupid continuous senior moments. Yay, goodbye yellow post-it i;ll keep writing till there's no space cuz im just a bit OCD like taht and when there's 159
I'm writing on a post-it something about post-its. I love the post-its that come packaged with the sticky side of one stuck to the lifty side of the next and etc. so you can pick up the first couple and the rest cascade down amusing you whether you like it or not. also: this post-it is yellow. the next bunch are blue. just thought you should know. trying to ignore the shouts and pre-pubescent voices of the young campers as they come out of the locker rooms.
on facebook polls, someone posts the tricky yet simple math problem and i answer thinking my answeris right and how could the majority of pollers answer 9 thats so obviously wrong. "no, mom, its 6, you havent taken math in 40 years. you want me to look at it again? but i've looked a hundre- oh cr*p. well, wait i did mean it was 9. i just put 6 cuz im sort of dyslexic like that...>.>..<.<...
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I love making funny faces at the children who come to the pool whenever they stare at me. Really throws em off :D
I love when the British guy comes to the pool. SAY MORE WORDS. strangely i'm pretty sure its the same guy who taught golf lessons at the summer camp during my single-digit years. why has he not aged at all O.o
An old lady walked up the front desk last week at the pool to tell me a story of how in Europe, she didnt have to shave and in America now the women stare at what she said they called her "monkey legs" so now she won't swim in public anymore (why is she here?!), then says I look bored and gives me a rolled up wordsearch book with a mechanical pencil. I say I already have one with me, and I pathetically actually do. But she says I"m going to have to start saving up funds for college when I get to highschool. I dont bother mentioning I'm going into my sophomore year at college, not 7th grade. The only thing I can think of after she leaves is "hmm this is a really good pencil."
I tried helping some preteens today to get their willy wonka shockers unstuck from the vending machine. Hip planning new vendetta against me.(http://files.sharenator.com/1617295_i_see_what_you_did_there_holyshit_super_Sharenator_Community_UNITE-s444x475-150637-535.jpg) Defeated. BUT, gave me an excuse to go get BBQ Lays chips with the futile plan that it would knock down the shockers RIGHT BELOW IT.missed completely. physics hates me.
^^dont mind the reflection
but these bbq lays chips are soaking in some love sauce (whatever that means) "happiness in every bite"--like a boss, fritolay, like a boss.
Now it feels like i have crumbs stuck in my non-existent beard. using your thigh as a desk-like surface isnt really a good idea..
An old lady walked in with a shirt that said 'don't be a boob'. It had symbols on it but i've already forgotten those in the twenty seconds that have passed. Last week, same day with the monkey legs woman, another old lady walked in wearing a top hat. or is it called a tall hat..whatever, doesnt matter. it looked f*%king ridiculous.
OH! yellow car i win!
I think one of the reasons for obesity us tagt oarebts ket cgukdreb gi ti tge veb...
O__O ^^---wtf was that. i put my fingers on the wrong keys, im sorry. i think one of the reasons for obesity is that parents let children go to the vending machine alone after they've given in to the child's demands of 'take out your wallet, mommy, i want MnMs.'
I hate when strangers forget to pay me (the nonresident pool fee) because you can't tell if it was intentional or not... "oh, she's so busy with her blue post-its, she wont notice if i just edge toward the locker rooms...oh darn. didnt get very far." me: *insincere sheepish smile to politely put the blame on myself.* because customers are always right -__-. unless they want to drop off their 8 and 10 year old off at the pool and just leave them there. "No, sorry, they need to be twelve to be at the pool without a guardian. Do i need to call the head lifeguard over? (thinking: i wonder if the head life guard likes harry potter, unlike the rest of those bloody hipsters.
Quite disappointed that Ashton Kutchers' replacing Charlie Sheen on 2 1/2 men. jeezus, stupid pen cant write on inclines. Sometimes, when the clicker says (for ex.) 149 people or something equally obnoxiously not a multiple of 5 or 10, i click it once more and call the new imaginary person George. I want mcdonalds fries RIGHT NOW GOD DAMMIT. i wonder what Nasonex feels like. Harry Potter 7.2 was EPIC. too epic for the words on this post-it. My left hip cracks but just now it was my right. oh cr*p, no scratch that, my right hip cracks but just now it was my left. senior moment.
Hey, look it's 20 to 5pm :D no, really this time. *double checks* really =). i still want some dam fries.
there's an empty Velveeta mac and cheese container in the garbage can behind me. now i want EasyMac too. and ramen. Cheddar cheese ramen that's my favorite but shrimp is also goo-why am i still writing?!
a kid came back and asked if she could check the locker room she might have left something in there. i nodded and quietly mumbled something, which i realized shortly afterwards, sounded like 'nofe' I dont even know what to say. Luckily the kid didnt hear me or she would have been terribly confused....
um, hey, mom dragging her kids away from the vending machine who are still trying to unstick those damn willy wonka shockers, thinking its their lucky day (pff suckers!) can i have those cheesesticks if the kids dont want em? :D :D
OMG, i news channel just called, they wanna do a story about the pool and the heat and how families should spend the day here. (no, i dont want more people. i value my free time so i can waste it). but, this should be interesting.
yay, more tennis balls to shove under the front desks' shelf. i could probably take three out and fail to juggle and no one here would care.
I hate it when you start opening a yogurt lid and a bit of yogurt totally splats in your face. reminds me of when i used to work at mcdonalds, before they had the mcflurry lids that fit, and when i used to have to make a mcflurry i would be sh*tting bricks. once, the lid and the bottom of the cup flew off. oh how the kids laughed with me in amusement -__-
so, kids have still been trying to get those stupid willy wonka shockers out. Mr maintenance man comes over and gives the machine one large uber shake and the dam f*ckers fall out. but then he gave em to me.
I HATE YOU WILLY WONKA. NOW I CANT GET THE DAM BAG OPEN.
*5 min later*
finally! OMG THESE ARE SOUR ...but only for about 5 seconds....a painful 5 seconds.
*5 min later*
why am i doing this to myself why am i still eating these!? sh*t i just dropped 2 on the floor at the same time. FAIL. now they're both inedible. i cant tell if this is a good thing or a bad thing...O.o
well i'm done ranting, here's some cake for your excellent patience in reading this:
quote of the day: [on airline announcements]
George Carlin: "In the unlikely event..." This is a very suspect phrase, especially coming, as it does, from an industry that is willing to lie about arrival and departure times. "In the unlikely event of a sudden change in cabin pressure..." ROOF FLIES OFF! "An oxygen mask will drop down in front of you. Place the mask over your face and breathe normally." Well, I have no problem with that. I always breathe normally when I'm in a 600 mile-an-hour uncontrolled vertical dive. I also SH*T normally! RIGHT IN MY PANTS!"
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